Stephen Moramarco on San Diego Living TV show, promoting the upcoming San Diego screening at his former high school!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
How To Deal With Failure, Rejection and Disappointment
The real "F" word? Failure.
It's the word that keeps many artists up at night. What happens if the film, music or other project you are working on falls short of your expectations? What if you don't get into Sundance or for that matter ANY film festival? What if you give a concert and no one shows up?
4. NEVER give up!!!! The REAL failures in life? Those people who let a few stumbling blocks along the way cause them to abandon their dreams and goals. The number one thing homeopathic nurses say their dying patients confess to them before they die is "I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
It's the word that keeps many artists up at night. What happens if the film, music or other project you are working on falls short of your expectations? What if you don't get into Sundance or for that matter ANY film festival? What if you give a concert and no one shows up?
Face it, Folks, Failure and its friends Rejection and Disappointment are a fact. A true artist needs to know how to deal with them. Here are a few thoughts on the subject.
1. At least you tried. It takes guts and determination to anything artistic, so the fact that you even tried is worth merit. Think about all the other people you know who are constantly saying "I want to do this" or "I have an idea for" and know that you are a DOER not a talker.
2. It is a learning experience. No matter how much it hurts, there is always something to be learned from failure. In fact, a recent New York Time article posits that very hypothesis. But you don't need to be a genius (or even read that lengthy article) to know it's true. If, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you simply ask "what lessons did I take away" - you will certainly come away with a list of items that will undoubtably help you at a future time in life.
3. EVERYONE fails! Yes it's true!!! All those celebrities you see airbrushed and smiling on the cover of your favorite magazine? All failures, each and every one of them. The old adage, "there is no such thing as an overnight success" is true, if you look beneath the surface. Read more about your favorite artist and you will discover that they have failed just like you.
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| This man suffered from severe depression for many years, and then... |
Your life is not a movie or a book - there are chapters, stories, and events of course, but NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT WILL END. What you may have thought is the defining moment of your existence, was perhaps a minor setback, that in the end, turns out to have led you to something much more valuable. I too had a long bout with depression, and I was able to harness all the pain and disappointment in my life and make an indie film.
You can't know what will happen to you unless you have the courage to take that journey.
I will leave you with an image that I saw on a billboard, that, oddly, and inspiringly, was a PSA:
Monday, September 19, 2011
Review: Selling Your Film Without Selling Your Soul
When it comes to navigating the ever-changing landscape of the indie film world, few have the knowledge, expertise and resources as Orly Ravid, co-director of The Film Collaborative, author/filmmaker Jon Reiss and marketing strategist Sheri Candler. You might say these three names are the "Holy Trinity" of Indie Film; any search query on the subject undoubtably returns one or all of their names.
So it makes sense, at least from a marketing standpoint, that they should band together and offer product to the indie filmmaking masses. The result is a new ebook, available on a multitude of platforms, seductively entitled "Selling Your Film Without Selling Your Soul."
This is a must-read snapshot of the current state of indie film. The book offers a rare glimpse inside the books of at least six indie films currently making the circuit. They range from micro-budget no-name all the way up to low-budget big-name.
The numbers they divulge may be discouraging, especially if one is considering investing money in an indie film of any size budget and expecting a return. From my take, none of the narrative fiction films outlined in the main section made any kind of noteworthy profit.
Yet there is a LOT to learn from within these pages. Dryly written, the book cuts the fluff and gets in to the specific details of many of the films' marketing strategies, including their utilization of Facebook and YouTube. One takeaway: nearly all the filmmakers that advertised on Facebook said they saw no benefit from it, in terms of direct sales. This is partly because of the way Facebook both pushes information to its fans and the lack of direct action an interested party can take on a page, something that is rumored to change very soon.
And, I have to say, the thing the overwhelming majority of these narrative indie films have in common? They all look really really terrible!! Don't believe me: judge for yourself!
Wait, aren't indie films supposed to avoid cliched situations and bad comedy? Perhaps that's why these movies didn't succeed. Then again, somehow, The Cosmonaut, a crowd-funded Sci-Fi project, raised 37,000 Euros just from a video from a guy running around a forest in a space suit with some erie woman's wailing underneath, so I guess anything is still possible.
Perhaps the most interesting section of the book is the one that deals with The Cosmonaut and a few other projects, entitled "Using P2P Methods to Distribute Film?" in which Candler discusses the threat of piracy to the artist/filmmaker and offers some case studies in "alternative" distribution methods, which are gaining more and more traction every day. Alternative licensing, such as the Creative Commons license is discussed, which is an entirely different way at looking at artistic work.
But the best lesson of this book for independent artists, may be in the way the ebook itself is being marketed and distributed. Until October 1, most versions of the ebook are free from the website. They also promise that there will always be a free PDF version available.
They are undoubtably hoping, like many of the filmmakers profiled in the book, that while they may not make a direct profit on the sales of the ebook itself, through ancillary revenue like advertising, and status-building, it will help them continue to work in the world of independent film without - yes - "selling their soul."
So it makes sense, at least from a marketing standpoint, that they should band together and offer product to the indie filmmaking masses. The result is a new ebook, available on a multitude of platforms, seductively entitled "Selling Your Film Without Selling Your Soul."
This is a must-read snapshot of the current state of indie film. The book offers a rare glimpse inside the books of at least six indie films currently making the circuit. They range from micro-budget no-name all the way up to low-budget big-name.
The numbers they divulge may be discouraging, especially if one is considering investing money in an indie film of any size budget and expecting a return. From my take, none of the narrative fiction films outlined in the main section made any kind of noteworthy profit.
Yet there is a LOT to learn from within these pages. Dryly written, the book cuts the fluff and gets in to the specific details of many of the films' marketing strategies, including their utilization of Facebook and YouTube. One takeaway: nearly all the filmmakers that advertised on Facebook said they saw no benefit from it, in terms of direct sales. This is partly because of the way Facebook both pushes information to its fans and the lack of direct action an interested party can take on a page, something that is rumored to change very soon.
And, I have to say, the thing the overwhelming majority of these narrative indie films have in common? They all look really really terrible!! Don't believe me: judge for yourself!
Wait, aren't indie films supposed to avoid cliched situations and bad comedy? Perhaps that's why these movies didn't succeed. Then again, somehow, The Cosmonaut, a crowd-funded Sci-Fi project, raised 37,000 Euros just from a video from a guy running around a forest in a space suit with some erie woman's wailing underneath, so I guess anything is still possible.
Perhaps the most interesting section of the book is the one that deals with The Cosmonaut and a few other projects, entitled "Using P2P Methods to Distribute Film?" in which Candler discusses the threat of piracy to the artist/filmmaker and offers some case studies in "alternative" distribution methods, which are gaining more and more traction every day. Alternative licensing, such as the Creative Commons license is discussed, which is an entirely different way at looking at artistic work.
But the best lesson of this book for independent artists, may be in the way the ebook itself is being marketed and distributed. Until October 1, most versions of the ebook are free from the website. They also promise that there will always be a free PDF version available.
They are undoubtably hoping, like many of the filmmakers profiled in the book, that while they may not make a direct profit on the sales of the ebook itself, through ancillary revenue like advertising, and status-building, it will help them continue to work in the world of independent film without - yes - "selling their soul."
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
How to Shoot Your Movie On Time and On Budget
Recently, I discussed How To Make a Movie for $5000. That's all well and good, but now I want to take a it a step further - ACTUALLY shooting it! Here are some suggestions based on my experiences working behind the scenes on big budget movies, shooting short films, and filming my indie feature film The Great Intervention.
1. Forget Storyboarding. Unless you are doing some kind of spectacular action or fantasy film (and you're not) this is a waste of time. Sure there are a lot of storyboarding programs so you no longer have to draw them by hand. But you do not need this. You have something called a BRAIN. Chances are, you wrote this movie yourself and you "saw" it all in your head anyways.
Instead: Make a Shot List. What is a Shot List? It is of course, a list of shots. You need a Shot List for every scene in your movie, but once you get the rhythm down, you may be able to do a lot of it on the fly, if need be. Look at your scene. How many characters are there? (Hopefully no more than four - see my other article) Let's say three. You now have three shots, because every character in the scene deserves their closeup. Next, you'll want to "pull back" on the scene a little, maybe a medium shot of two of the characters, and a medium shot of the the third. (Two more shots.) Finally, you want a "Master Shot" of the whole room, all the action in the scene, from beginning to end. (One shot) Now, let's list them in reverse order.
1. Master Shot
2. Medium Shot Person A and B
3. Medium Shot Person C
4. Close up Person A
5. Close up Person B
6. Close up Person C
Now, unless you are going for some kind of Sami Raimi-type of thing, that should basically cover your scene from beginning to end.
First thing you do, on the day of the shoot, is block the scene. Have your actors act it out as they would naturally do it in the space, and tell them not to worry about where the camera is. That's YOUR job. Watch them do the whole scene. If, during the blocking of this scene you realize that the characters begin talking in one part of the house and end up in another, yell "Cut." Every time the Master Shot has to pick up and move, that is another "scene" with its own list of closeups and medium shots.
2. Be on time. ALWAYS be early! If you are late, it sends out a domino effect, which slows down production and morale. Have lunch on the 6 hour mark (as required by SAG) and make sure there are plenty of snacks.
3. Don't be too ambitious in the number of scenes/shots, but be not too tame, neither. You should always either be filming, rehearsing, or setting up for the next shot. Professional film sets break down their scenes into eighths of a page - that tells you how slow and methodical they can be. You don't have that kind of luxury.
4. Try to have only one location per day. Every time you do a "company move" you are adding hours to your day. Group all the scenes together that have the same location, regardless of their order in the film.
5. Use as few extras as you can. In a microbudget film, there isn't enough money to pay even the basic $54/8 hours a non-union extra charges. This means it's going to be incredibly hard to get anyone to do it! Besides, a lot of extras adds up to a lot of bodies on the set, and a lot more mouths to feed at lunch time.
6. Avoid fancy lighting. The number one thing that slows down a film shoot is setting up and moving bulky lighting equipment. The Big Boys can spend all day and night with fancy globes and spotlights, but you don't have the time. Cameras nowadays (especially those groovy SLR cameras that shoot HD) are really great with light - you can do so much with so little - use that to your advantage.
7. Move your camera around like a photo camera. It used to be, cameras were bulky, had to be on a dolly, and had to be reloaded every 10 minutes or so of film. Now you don't have any of these to worry about, so "get in there" with the camera. Keep it rolling. Instead of yelling "action" and "cut" all the time, just direct your actors off camera - have them do what is called a "series" of takes in a row, without stopping and starting.
8. Try to stay calm and focused. Breathe in, breathe out. You most likely will have to be your own First AD (the person who actually keeps the ball rolling on major film sets) so prepare to kick your own ass. Oh, and of course, don't forget to have fun - you are living the dream of directing your movie!!!
1. Forget Storyboarding. Unless you are doing some kind of spectacular action or fantasy film (and you're not) this is a waste of time. Sure there are a lot of storyboarding programs so you no longer have to draw them by hand. But you do not need this. You have something called a BRAIN. Chances are, you wrote this movie yourself and you "saw" it all in your head anyways.
Instead: Make a Shot List. What is a Shot List? It is of course, a list of shots. You need a Shot List for every scene in your movie, but once you get the rhythm down, you may be able to do a lot of it on the fly, if need be. Look at your scene. How many characters are there? (Hopefully no more than four - see my other article) Let's say three. You now have three shots, because every character in the scene deserves their closeup. Next, you'll want to "pull back" on the scene a little, maybe a medium shot of two of the characters, and a medium shot of the the third. (Two more shots.) Finally, you want a "Master Shot" of the whole room, all the action in the scene, from beginning to end. (One shot) Now, let's list them in reverse order.
1. Master Shot
2. Medium Shot Person A and B
3. Medium Shot Person C
4. Close up Person A
5. Close up Person B
6. Close up Person C
Now, unless you are going for some kind of Sami Raimi-type of thing, that should basically cover your scene from beginning to end.
First thing you do, on the day of the shoot, is block the scene. Have your actors act it out as they would naturally do it in the space, and tell them not to worry about where the camera is. That's YOUR job. Watch them do the whole scene. If, during the blocking of this scene you realize that the characters begin talking in one part of the house and end up in another, yell "Cut." Every time the Master Shot has to pick up and move, that is another "scene" with its own list of closeups and medium shots.
2. Be on time. ALWAYS be early! If you are late, it sends out a domino effect, which slows down production and morale. Have lunch on the 6 hour mark (as required by SAG) and make sure there are plenty of snacks.
3. Don't be too ambitious in the number of scenes/shots, but be not too tame, neither. You should always either be filming, rehearsing, or setting up for the next shot. Professional film sets break down their scenes into eighths of a page - that tells you how slow and methodical they can be. You don't have that kind of luxury.
4. Try to have only one location per day. Every time you do a "company move" you are adding hours to your day. Group all the scenes together that have the same location, regardless of their order in the film.
5. Use as few extras as you can. In a microbudget film, there isn't enough money to pay even the basic $54/8 hours a non-union extra charges. This means it's going to be incredibly hard to get anyone to do it! Besides, a lot of extras adds up to a lot of bodies on the set, and a lot more mouths to feed at lunch time.
6. Avoid fancy lighting. The number one thing that slows down a film shoot is setting up and moving bulky lighting equipment. The Big Boys can spend all day and night with fancy globes and spotlights, but you don't have the time. Cameras nowadays (especially those groovy SLR cameras that shoot HD) are really great with light - you can do so much with so little - use that to your advantage.
7. Move your camera around like a photo camera. It used to be, cameras were bulky, had to be on a dolly, and had to be reloaded every 10 minutes or so of film. Now you don't have any of these to worry about, so "get in there" with the camera. Keep it rolling. Instead of yelling "action" and "cut" all the time, just direct your actors off camera - have them do what is called a "series" of takes in a row, without stopping and starting.
8. Try to stay calm and focused. Breathe in, breathe out. You most likely will have to be your own First AD (the person who actually keeps the ball rolling on major film sets) so prepare to kick your own ass. Oh, and of course, don't forget to have fun - you are living the dream of directing your movie!!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
How (and Why) to Use Kickstarter
Kickstarter, a relatively new tool in the world of fundraising, has revolutionized the process of raising money for your film. However, it is somewhat misunderstood by some of the population, and often misused by the artist/filmmakers themselves.
Help me people reach my goal... we are ALMOST THERE..!
4. If you don't make your goal, pause and reflect. Was the amount too unreasonable? Is the project vision not fully realized? Was I too annoying with my fundraising campaign? These may be tough questions to ask yourself, but could provide you with some clarity and insight for your next attempt.
Asking people for money - whether its your father or a total stranger is never easy. If you have a strong idea for a film or project, use Kickstarter to build up a fan base and, hopefully, make your dream come true.
I successfully funded my first indie film The Great Intervention, using Kickstarter. I'd like to share some of my thoughts and ideas on what is now called "crowdfunding."
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| Now if I could only convince all these people to give me ONE DOLLAR... |
One thing I have noticed is that there are some people out there who do not like Kickstarter or other similar sites, and may resent you in some way for using it. These people are likely to say "Get a job and pay for it yourself," or "Stop asking your friends for money." These people are missing the idea, but good luck trying to change their mind.
Kickstarter was not designed to be used to ask for a handout. A recent New York Times article went into detail about the founding and philosophy behind Kickstarter's creation.
One thing to know is that not every project is accepted by Kickstarter. You can't just run a campaign to, say, "Pay My Rent for a Year." Projects have to have some kind of artistic value and a specific goal. The small staff personally goes through each application, discussing and helping artists shape their projects so they are "Kickstarter-worthy." If you peruse their website, you will see the variety of projects - from painters to poets - that are using the site to fund their unique visions.
The other concept - and this, I think, gives it a unique twist - is that, if you don't make your goal, you get none of the money pledged and it is returned to the donors. Why is that cool? Because it adds drama and drive to your fundraising. Sure, there are sites like Indieagogo.com that don't have such requirements, but this danger adds legitimacy and urgency to your project. Because, if you DON'T achieve your goal, why should you keep the money - you won't have the amount you need and the project will be unfinished. Kickstarter is about funding and FINISHING your projects.
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| Thanks everybody for the donations! Unfortunately, we fell a little short of our goal... |
The Kickstarter website is akin to a salon of artists showcasing their dreams and ideas, and the more philanthropic of us can spend hundreds of hours and dollars giving needy projects a helping hand. On their home page and in their weekly emails, Kickstarter showcases various artists, but the truth is, unless you are really clever or lucky, you will rely on friends and family for most of your donations.
This is not a bad thing! If you have a large network of friends/fans already, they are probably aware of your endeavors and WANT to support you. I was personally overwhelmed by the amount of contributions from friends from my elementary school - whom I had not seen in years - that helped me achieve my goal.
So - go forward with Kickstarter, with the above caveats - and follow these guidelines:
1. Keep your goal realistic. I think $5000 is a good number for a first film - it's not too big to be unattainable, yet, just out of the zone of most people's personal finances. In another post, I talked about how to make your movie for $5000, so use that as your template. Also, keep your fundraising period limited to about a month. That way you have enough time without it getting "old".
2. Be creative with your rewards. Although your Kickstarter contact will help you with this, start thinking about it before you pitch your project. You can and should offer a copy of your movie in some format for donors, but think about other fun ways to connect - it will add incentive to your audience to give.
3. Be creative with the campaign itself. Because the majority of your fan base/contacts are on Facebook, you are going to have to beat the drum regularly and loudly in terms of status updates and links. But a link to the same old Kickstarter page quickly gets annoying and boring. Try using links to YouTube songs/videos to inspire your base. For example, a link to the Theme from Rocky with a short reference to your campaign, is a way to keep it fun and light.
Help me people reach my goal... we are ALMOST THERE..!
4. If you don't make your goal, pause and reflect. Was the amount too unreasonable? Is the project vision not fully realized? Was I too annoying with my fundraising campaign? These may be tough questions to ask yourself, but could provide you with some clarity and insight for your next attempt.
Asking people for money - whether its your father or a total stranger is never easy. If you have a strong idea for a film or project, use Kickstarter to build up a fan base and, hopefully, make your dream come true.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Essential DIY Filmmaking Tools 2011
Hey everyone - times change rapidly in the digital world - every day it gets easier and easier and cheaper and cheaper to make your indie movie! Here is a quick survey of products to help you get up and running without breaking the bank!
1) Cameras - As recently as a couple of years ago, the Flip was all the rage. A palm-sized camera that shoots in HD for under $200, it seemed like everybody was snapping them up. (I shot part of my movie The Great Intervention on a Kodak Zi8 - a similar camera. In this short span of time, both cameras are now discontinued. Why? Because, chances are you've already got an HD camera... in your smart phone! If you have an iPhone 4 (and why DON'T you?) you've got one right there. Same goes for most Androids. If you do have an iPhone, pick up the groovy 8mm app which will let you emulate a bunch of different film stocks, for fun and effect. Don't have/want a smart phone? Find a used Flip or Zi8 on eBay. Don't think the iPhone is good enough? Here are a few awesome films shot on it.
2) Tripod. If you go the iPhone route, you're going to need a special tripod adaptor, if you want to really frame your shots. The Thought Out Company makes several $25 models, which will attach to any standard tripod. If you want to be truly DIY - do a YouTube search for "make your own iPhone tripod mount" - like this one:
Sound: This is often the most neglected part of the DIY setup, but also the most critical. (It's called an AUDI-ence, right?) Crappy sound on your finished product is the dead giveaway of an amateur filmmaker. DAK audio makes several wireless packages at very reasonable prices. Add to that a special adaptor cables from KV microphone (make sure you get the right one for your setup) and now you can add high quality audio to your video quite easily. (Also available for Android)
Don't take my word for it - take the Gadget Guy
Editing Software. Mac users - YOU ARE IN LUCK!! Apple just announced Final Cut Pro X - a totally revamped version of their flagship professional editing software... and -- GET THIS -- it's now just $299! Final Cut Studio used to retail for THREE TIMES that amount. Now the barrier to professional-looking filmmaking is even lower!!!!! Advice to PC users: get a Mac!!! (Discounts galore on used-but-still-in-warranty Macs from Gainsaver.com!!!)
Well, that's about it for the latest gadgets on my radar. I'm sure, soon enough, we'll have chipsets embedded in our brains where we can just "think" our movies, but until then, this is probably as close as you can get!!
1) Cameras - As recently as a couple of years ago, the Flip was all the rage. A palm-sized camera that shoots in HD for under $200, it seemed like everybody was snapping them up. (I shot part of my movie The Great Intervention on a Kodak Zi8 - a similar camera. In this short span of time, both cameras are now discontinued. Why? Because, chances are you've already got an HD camera... in your smart phone! If you have an iPhone 4 (and why DON'T you?) you've got one right there. Same goes for most Androids. If you do have an iPhone, pick up the groovy 8mm app which will let you emulate a bunch of different film stocks, for fun and effect. Don't have/want a smart phone? Find a used Flip or Zi8 on eBay. Don't think the iPhone is good enough? Here are a few awesome films shot on it.
2) Tripod. If you go the iPhone route, you're going to need a special tripod adaptor, if you want to really frame your shots. The Thought Out Company makes several $25 models, which will attach to any standard tripod. If you want to be truly DIY - do a YouTube search for "make your own iPhone tripod mount" - like this one:
Sound: This is often the most neglected part of the DIY setup, but also the most critical. (It's called an AUDI-ence, right?) Crappy sound on your finished product is the dead giveaway of an amateur filmmaker. DAK audio makes several wireless packages at very reasonable prices. Add to that a special adaptor cables from KV microphone (make sure you get the right one for your setup) and now you can add high quality audio to your video quite easily. (Also available for Android)
Don't take my word for it - take the Gadget Guy
Editing Software. Mac users - YOU ARE IN LUCK!! Apple just announced Final Cut Pro X - a totally revamped version of their flagship professional editing software... and -- GET THIS -- it's now just $299! Final Cut Studio used to retail for THREE TIMES that amount. Now the barrier to professional-looking filmmaking is even lower!!!!! Advice to PC users: get a Mac!!! (Discounts galore on used-but-still-in-warranty Macs from Gainsaver.com!!!)
Well, that's about it for the latest gadgets on my radar. I'm sure, soon enough, we'll have chipsets embedded in our brains where we can just "think" our movies, but until then, this is probably as close as you can get!!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Hollywood Collapse is Coming!!
Are you ready for The Reckoning?
No it's not yet ANOTHER Superhero franchise foisted upon us - just the opposite. It's the bursting of the Hollywood Bubble - and it's coming this summer to a theater near YOU!
For years, Hollywood has been courting the so-called "Fanboys" who seem to populate the San Diego Comic Convention and drool over anything in spandex.
 |
| Case in Point |
This small-but-extremely-vocal subset has been guiding the Tent Pole machine for years, producing films loosely based on comic books from half-a-century ago, to bigger and bigger profits, and, of course, bigger and bigger budgets.
As in the Dot-Com, the Real Estate, and even the Dutch Tulip era, this is what's known as a Bubble.
And we all know what happens to Bubbles, don't we?
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| Wait - what DID happen to Bubbles?! |
On the horizon is The Green Lantern, Harry Potter, Captain America, Cowboys and Aliens, and even The Smurfs in 3D, no less.
Speaking of 3D, much to James Cameron's chagrin, that Bubble has already burst, as sub-par 3D movies like Green Hornet and Gulliver's Travels and extra ticket fees have turned off moviegoers in droves. Because of Kung Fu Panda 2's underwhelming 3D opening, stock in 3D production companies took a huge hit.
Uh-oh, aren't most of these upcoming Superhero movies in 3D?
And, aside from a different color of spandex and a random super power here and there, aren't all these movies the SAME?!
My prediction is that this summer is going to be a big "Wake Up Call" to Hollywood producers.
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| This Tent Pole Cost Us $300 Million Dollars!! |
This is good news for the Indie Filmmaker!
They will realize that they can create interesting, compelling films for a fraction of the budget and will fire up their low budget divisions. Just recently, Lionsgate announced their own microbudget division.
Movie theaters, reeling from being burned by Hollywood (yet again) with crappy 3D projection systems and the ever-diminishing theater-to-DVD window, will look elsewhere for content.
Already, they are screening operas, Broadway shows, and concerts, with great success.
In addition, indie arthouses are sprouting up in major cities and elsewhere, such as L.A.'s The Downtown Independent, and budding franchise Alamo Drafthouse, which cater to moviegoers that enjoy more brain than brawn.
Add into the mix, the continuous proliferation of smartphones, video sharing websites and video-on-demand services that cater exclusive to indie filmmakers, and you have the makings of a revolution in entertainment.
No spandex necessary!
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