Get Over It - It Ain't Gonna Happen

So you've made your first movie - congratulations! You have spent long, hard hours (days, months, years?) creating and realizing your vision. It's only a matter of time before you are accepted to Tribeca, Sundance, or one of the other big festivals, and a fierce bidding war begins. only to secure you and your film millions of dollars and instant fame.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it ain't gonna happen.

I subscribe to several "DIY" newsletters and blogs, many of which feverishly cover all the exciting deals being made at Cannes, and offer negotiating tips about how to handle distributors and other high-end buyers.

This is like getting tips on your Academy Awards acceptance speech after your first High School play.

Sure, it's okay to dream, but, then again it's also important to wake up.

While there are a lot of success stories that you read about, of first-time filmmakers making the leap from obscurity to celebrity, the reality is there simply is a glut of product out there. Making a movie, once the achievement of a large group of people and hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of dollars, can now be done by one person with an iPhone. My first film, The Great Intervention, was shot for $5000.

This is not terrible news, people! Every day, there are more and more places to sell, stream or share your movie online. And, every day, it is getting cheaper and cheaper to make them. This means - a) you can do it yourself, and b) you don't need to go to the poorhouse spending all your money on marketing seminars, publicists, and Facebook Ads to recoup your costs. (If you're smart like me, you raise the money for your film on Kickstarter, so you are not in the hole at all. Every dollar that comes in is, technically, a profit.)

I'm not going to lie to you - I have hopes just like you that my film will be seen by Harvey Weinstein. I'm just starting with smaller goals and expectations, and I suggest you do too.

• Enter film festivals with no or low entrance fees. Sometimes, you can email them and beg for a waiver. Not saying that happens much, but it could be worth a try.
• Focus on the community around the film. Actors, investors and friends all want to see your film and have it succeed. Start with screenings that involve them and roll out from there.
• Always have a copy of your film on you - you never know who you are going to meet!

See you at Cannes.

Sneak Preview of The Great Intervention June 1

I am very pleased to announce a special ONLINE sneak preview of The Great Intervention. Indie Film Night, an film-fan website based in Delaware, will be doing a live stream of the movie on June 1, 8PM E.S.T. (5PM Pacific).

Host Bill Page with show the film in 30-minute segments, interspersed with interviews with myself and Karen Zumsteg. So be sure and set your "alerts" - tune in by clicking the Indie Film Night page and click the Live Broadcast button!

Welcome to DIY U.

Film school is too damn expensive. All that money you spend on tuition could be spent on a kickass digital camera and Final Cut Pro. But there still are a few things you can learn from a good film school... Introducing DIY University, aka DIYU. Take our film course, outlined below and you will be on your way to cinematic greatness.

Hey, it's the guy from "The Beaver"!

1. Read Lethal Weapon screenplay. Fellow UCLA (and Comedy Club) alum Shane Black changed the rules of screenwriting with this script. Notice how it reads more like a comic book. He even uses the "action" (the descriptive bits between the dialogue) to add a bit of self-aware humor. It's tight, it's funny, and it launched a franchise that made the guy a lot of dough. WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY: If you are writing a script, especially a spec script, make sure your "action" is tight and propels the story forward. Break the film down into "acts" and notice how it fits the classic structure. Let it inspire your writing.

Don't fuggedaboudit

2. Read The 5 C's of Cinematography. Fellow Proud Italian Joseph V Mascelli outlines many of the classic techniques of filmmaking. Some of the references are dated of course, but  overall it will give a filmmaker an "eye" for what separates "cinema" from "home movie."

Make sure your face is always very red

3. Read Michael Caine's Acting in Film: An Actor's Take on Movie Making. Let's face the facts: Film and theater are COMPLETELY different. This book leaves out all the touchy-feely stuff and focuses on the business at hand: learning to hit your mark, open your face to the lens, and do the same thing over and over again. Oh, and how to keep it subtle. 

4. Watch Star Wars Begins. Finally, it's movie time! Even if you've seen Star Wars a hundred times and even if you HATE Science Fiction, watch this amazing documentary. This guy was so obsessed, he has created a parallel movie to all three ("good") SW films. He collected all the behind-the-scenes footage, outtakes, and all sorts of video-and-audio ephemera to give you an insight into the incredible creation of one of history's most famous film franchises. You literally watch Lucas build this dream world, only to destroy it later. After it's done, watch Building Empire and finally Returning to Jedi. 


And that's it! Follow these steps and you will have almost everything you need to know about filmmaking. Contact me for your diploma.

Create a Great Movie in 5 Simple* Steps

Recently, I talked about an easy way to "greenlight" your own movie, but I left you hanging when it comes to the actual movie concept itself. There are dozens, if not hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of books, courses, podcasts, webinars etc. on the "art" of screenwriting. Many of these are quite valuable (Robert McKee's Story: Substance, Structure, Style and The Principles of Screenwriting 
is often bandied about as the best) and/or very expensive (Screenwritingu.com's intensive Pro Series will set you back a few Benjamins or more).

So I am introducing my own Instant* Screenplay formula - a way to create a structure for a feature film that you could make yourself.

(*Results may vary)



Step One: What are you an EXPERT on? Everybody has some kind of hobby or occupation that they know a lot about. Doctors have gone to medical school of course, but even a lazy slob has a lot of knowledge that the average person doesn't about lounging around. People watch movies to enter an unfamiliar world, in which the filmmaker is the guide; when we watch, we also LEARN a little bit about something we didn't know before.  This will be your overall CONCEPT. (I.e. "I am an expert knitter, so this movie will be about the world of knitting."

This is what came up when I Googled "lazy slob"

Step Two: YOU are the main character. Let's leave the fantasy world imagining to M. Night Shamalamadingdong.  Who are you? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Try and be honest with yourself. Our favorite characters are usually flawed human beings, maybe with a bitter secret - not these perfect "supermen". Remember that word: honesty.

Who ARE You?

Step Three: Ask yourself "What IF". That is what every movie boils down to. "What if..?" "What if a poor Italian immigrant came to America and got involved in a life of crime?" (The Godfather) "What if a giant shark terrorized a small tourist town?" (Jaws) "What if I had a $150 million dollar budget and I wanted to throw it in the garbage?" (Inception) You get the idea.

I Hate When That Happens!

Step Four: What does your character (you) WANT or NEED? Most of the time, your character must be involved in some kind of quest or action. This part of the idea may be generated by the "What if?" "What if the world were ending tomorrow? I would want/need to see my mother one last time."

Now the idea should start taking shape in your head. Keep thinking about it, toss it around in your mind as you lay in bed. Keep a notebook or use a voice memo to record any ideas you generate. Repeat steps one through three until it is crystal clear.

Step Five: Put in a surprise twist. Nobody likes a movie that they can see the ending coming a mile away. Rarely is a movie interesting in which everybody gets what they wants and everything is sunny and beautiful. At some point - usually near the film's climax - something goes awry that both the main character and the audience should not see coming. Part of the success of Rocky was that [SPOILER ALERT] he DIDN'T win the fight (I'm talking Rocky I here, people.) People like being caught off guard - it will affect them emotionally.

Step Six: The main character must CHANGE. A screenplay is a story, with a beginning, middle, and end. If nothing happens to the hero, then what's the point? We are watching this movie because it is a defining moment in this character's life that forever affects them. A simple way to do this is have the character start out one way (say "greedy") and end up the opposite ("a philanthropist.") That is the story of A Christmas Carol, in a nutshell.

Step Seven: RAISE the stakes. So now you have your concept, character, story, etc. Now bump it up to the next level. If something is not a LIFE OR DEATH situation (literally or figuratively,) again, what's the point? We watch movies to get our heart racing, to live out the story being played in front of our eyes. If it doesn't matter whether the character succeeds or fails in their goal, then something is wrong. PUMP IT UP!!

So there you have it! Seven simple* steps. That's how I came up with the idea for The Great Intervention. But yours doesn't have to be a comedy. It could be drama, romance, even action.

And if you are indeed successful, you owe me 10% of the film's gross.